Why smiles for Sebastian

 

I will always miss Sebastian’s beautiful smile. When he smiled, everything around him lit up and vibrated with such pure joy. When he was still here, I wanted to give him the world just so I could see him keep on smiling. After his death, the knowledge there is nothing I can do to make him smile anymore, was pure torture.

Following Sebastian’s funeral, I went to spend some time with my family in Poland. One of the things I always loved about being there were the churches, so I went from church to church, not only admiring their beauty, but also praying. During one of those trips, while praying, I had an epiphany: a simple, yet very powerful thought, which became my motivation and drive to continue the course of my healing process. I realized that, even though, I cannot do anything to see my baby boy’s beautiful smile again, perhaps I could do something to make him proud one day… something that would bring a smile to his sweet face again.

Reading about the experiences of others was a vital and crucial part of my healing process. I want to believe that every time I would share my story with others, I would somehow help them in their healing process which would make my beautiful boy smile at me, once again, from Heaven.

After the incident, to help me out financially, one of my neighbors organized a GoFundMe fundraiser which included a “Smiles for Sebastian” themed lemonade stand.

Even though I had a great job and worked full time for years, I never really managed our assets and didn’t even know where and how my husband managed it either. Hence, after the incident without an immediate access to his bank accounts, I was left with, very little of what was left on my account, which unfortunately was also managed by my late husband. Thankfully, my dear friends and neighbors were able to organize the fundraiser for us, to help out with all the extra costs and to help me, before I was able to figure everything out and stand back on feet financially.

I hope that reading this blog will help you in some way and my beautiful baby boy will send me one of his beautiful smiles from above 🙂